Saturday, February 27, 2010

my vision is getting much more blurry. i have to squint even when typing this.its like, im losing my vision or something.sigh... thats not good.
i even hear voices in my head,like,literally voices.i may become crazy some time later on.once i lose my sanity...aaahhh..i dont even wanna think about it.my head is hurting me.
but all of this could not compare to what im feeling right now
no,its not anger
no,its not sadness
i just..feel...lonely...
no,not lonely because shahir is not in the room right now
like,a sudden feeling of loneliness
something is missing...
sigh...emo moment...
god,i better rest my head
toodles

Friday, February 26, 2010

hell, its been a long time since i posted something here
so,what has been going on this past few days?
well,for one,i freakin lost rm 1.2 k
yup
and i deleted my facebook account,just to make it fair for everyone
ummm...thats about it,really
adieu

Sunday, February 21, 2010

u are my best friend,even though things like this happen

if u are reading this,u should know that im writing about you,and to you.

unlike you,i never blocked you from my life

but you certainly chose it to be that way

you think im doing this just to make myself more happy?more content?

im hurt

deeply hurt

u said i never trusted you as much as i trusted my other friends

remember,the message you sent to my inbox?

truth is,i trust you the most

you were always on top of the list

i wanted to be with you

and i never had any intention of pushing you away

never

never

i dont care how much u nag

or disapprove of my interests

things arent the same anymore

i tried to improve myself for you

but clearly,you are rejecting it

friends dont give up on each other

they trust each other

u said u trust me a lot

and i mean the whole world to u

but yet

u wont accept it if i say that im trying my best to be better

u wont accept it if i say i have tried being in your shoes

u wanna know something?

u are the FIRST malay girl i considered to be my best friend

ok,scratch that

the first MALAY

no one is perfect

but everyone can be better

u just dont trust me when i said im trying

and then,you gave up,just like that

where's that promise?

"i wont give up on you"

"i dont push people away"

i know that when i make a promise,i'll keep it

dont make promises if you're gonna turn against your own words just because you gave up

you always tell me not to give up

but you gave up yourself

there's no point being friends,if this is how u define the word "friends"

i dont know whether i made the worst mistake in my life,or the most important decision,by sending u that final sms

but just know that

i will regret this

and i am sad,and will always be

goodbye,my best friend

my special friend

the feelings i have for you shall never fade,unlike yours

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

a tribute to my matric friends

why am i having dreams about my matrics friends last nite?took a nap,and i dreamt about them.gosh....maybe im missing them too much.hehe.so maybe i'll update my blog about them,coz i dont have any idea what to write now.ok,here goes..

1. Ravishanker Degarajan
yeah,the one on the right is him.my best friend,my best bro.and yes,he's an Indian.but i dont find any fault there.one thing i've learnt is that once you get to know an Indian,no matter guy or girl,you will realise that they are humorously sarcastic and entertaining.Previously before I entered matrics,i was never close to any Indians.but in matrics,this is the first indian guy i befriended and we are bros till now.Why are we looking at our differences when we can see our similarities?sure,both of us are from different races and religion,but we're still the bestest of friends.thats what other people cant understand.they always,always see the fault.i dont care.once i have a friend,i dont care about his skin color,or his accent,or anything.thats me.
anyway,back to the real thing.Ravishanker Degarajan.An indian guy with a very fit body.i've seen him doing push-ups with one hand.me?...dont ask.he's damn strong,both physically and mentally.he's smart too,but i always top him in exams.bwahaha.but i know he's smarter than me.i just...know.and he's also one of the guys that i can tolerate with whenever he says 'fuck' to me or show me the middle finger.its like,i learnt all the bad things from him,really.but he's still 10 times better AND worse than me.he's got a brother,and he told me that his brother is a 100 times worse than him,so that makes his brother...ummmm...i dont know,1000 times worse than me,i guess.maybe even worse.haha.but despite the bad guy that he is,he is still the one that helped me a lot during tough times.i wont tell you what kind of tough times they were,but he's there along with some other indian guys.but he's the one i will search first.when i was bored or having a problem,i would just hang out in his room and he would treat me marukus,which i thoroughly enjoyed.sometimes we also study together and sometimes i would help him in his studies.he can catch up real fast when it comes to studies.its just a matter whether he wants to study or not.i dont know,i just respect him too much,i guess.but i dont regret that.not now,not ever.i can still remember the first time we met,and he said he wanted to punch my face for commenting on his performance in class.but we became best buddies after that.teehee.oh yeah,and i can assure you that no guy can match up to him.your boyfriend,your man,anyone.seriously,bring me any guy and i will bring ravi.maybe im exaggerating.then again,maybe im not.
oh man...haha.and by the way,the picture of us up there?that was taken at Kampar when i met up with him while on the way to KL.yes,i actually took the time to stop at Kampar just to meet him.here's to our brotherhood,man.glad to have met ya.

2. Mahesa Sankarra
yes,he's a year older than me.yes,he is a smoker.yes,he is an Indian.but then,he is still my bro.among all my other bros.the name is Mahesa Sankara,also known as Mahesa Lordpanda,Mahesa Jules,and what not.he's a guy that can crack up jokes even during the worst of times.he's the guy that can cheer me up by telling jokes,no matter how dirty.haha.we are guys,what do you expect?the way he uses words to make it into a funny sentence or quote is unmatchable,for me ,that is.i remember once i went to his room,and he along with some other Indian guys were watching a Tamil movie.the girl in the movie was kidnapped and she asked some water from her kidnapper since she was thirsty.then mahesa turned to me and asked,"Syafiq,why did she ask for water?" I didnt answer.instead,i laughed like a maniac.Mahesa asked again,"woi,why did u laugh la,fucker?Why did she ask for water?"i laughed again,non-stop.even i dont know why i laughed.maybe im so used to him making jokes and craps,that i laughed even when he was not making a joke.mahesa's not as aggressive as ravi,but i can still depend on him from time to time.
during the sem break last year,i met up with him at Midvalley while i was in Kl.it was a short reunion,by the way.but it was worthwhile.and we took the picture i posted up there.

3. Hemms Waran
this,this is my third bro.and he's a smoker.and he's indian.and he's a joker.see what i mean?its not because i know how to befriend these guys.no,no.its because i want to.
Hemms is a tall guy,and he's just like Mahesa.he knows how to crack up jokes.he knows how to inspire someone.
case in point:

Me: Dude,i dont know how to talk with girls laa..
Hemms: All you have to do is initiate the conversation.
Me: sigh...
Hemms: Take this cigarette as an example.to smoke it,you have to ignite it.thats the initiation.to initiate it,you have to have a lighter.so,the lighter is you,the cigarette is the girl,and the flame is the conversation.the smoke is the product.and by the time the flame burns the whole cigarette,the conversation is over.get what i mean?
Me: uhhh...

but deep down,i know he's a good guy.in terms of friendship,i mean.skipping classes and creating chaos are a norm for him.and he doesn't give a damn to all the goody two shoes out there.and his room is a mess.its like a place where a demonic ritual took place.seriously.but it was there i learnt about russell peters,because he and mahesa introduced me to the video.

Aaaahhh...the old times.

The picture above was taken in matrics,where he suddenly came and sat next to me and chatted a nice,long chat.

4. Suthashini Balakrishnan

Her T-shirt says everything.But i would argue about the "cute" part.
.....actually,this totally defies my first sentence,doesnt it?haha.sutha,if you are reading this,please dont spam my wall.haha.
anyway,like what i said previously,indian guys and girls are humorously sarcastic.and this girl,is the most sarcastic of the lot.ouch....i looked like a hobo next to her.i mean,just look at me.there i was,wearing a white t-shirt that makes me look fatter along with pants that were really out of place during that time.uggghhh...
anyway,she's a smart girl,both in studies and in real life.i was not really that close to her in matrics,but since she is someone that i can constantly spam her wall with my snide comments and everything,i guess that makes her a very nice friend of mine.haha.what a way to consider someone as a friend.
honestly,sutha,you look attractive and all,but its hard to resist joining the groups you've joined and spamming your wall.its like drugs,only much better.
she's the kind of cheerful girl that you dont want to mess around with.i guess if she's eating in front of me and i messed around with her at that moment,i think she'll just stab the spoon and fork into my forehead and leave me there.this is what i meant by the phrase "girls are scary when they get mad".
Haha.but still,you're a good friend.hope to meet up with you someday during the holidays.

5. Yeong Jin Yuan
ok,so this is the first chinese friend in my entry.Yeong Jin Yuan,or better known as Yeong.
the thing about chinese guys is they are easy to get along with once you are close to them.and i mean it.dont have any negative thoughts about them.see,the problem with us malays is we always see the bad things in other people.sometimes,i do too.but i always try to fight that feeling.and thats how i ended up with a whole lot of chinese buddies during matrics.i dont care what religion he follows.i dont mind that he's chinese.he's a good friend,and that's what matters.and we are brothers,no matter what.
this guy is from SMJK Sam Tet in Perak.i got to know him during the start of the second semester.On the first day itself,we were talking like we knew each other for a long time already.thats kind of an achievement for me,i guess.i mean,i never expected to be such close friends with a chinese friend from the get-go.not that its a bad thing,of course.then we became closer and closer.he's also one of the guys that i can tolerate whenever he says "fuck" to me or shows me the middle finger.i visited his room,and he visited mine.we are mutual friends,that i can conclude.
one thing about him is that he's a very clever guy.and thats how i scored my quizzes,by copying him.haha.but hey,i scored the finals by my own,so you cant say anything about it,can you,buddy?haha.no offence,man.
and thanks for inviting me to your birthday party,too.i was kinda suprised when im the only malay guy there,but dont take it as a bad thing.i was suprised,and flattered.haha.i really appreciated the fact that we met again at queensbay just before i entered USM.really glad meeting you.though,I am sorry that i couldnt find the time to meet you again during CNY.hopefully some other time,man.thanks for becoming my pal.

6. Paul Leong Weng Kit
hey,paul,dude,sorry i cant find a picture of me alone with you.so i took this pic as a tribute.haha.but hey,its better than nothing,right?
one thing i gotta say about you,pal,is that you're a nice guy.i mean,as in,nice,but not ideally nice.haha.dont take it to heart,my man.we are bastards,and we will always be.
anyway,i got to know Paul during sem 2.he's a friend of Yeong,and in the same lecture with me.and i gotta say,i got along with you very well,even though we cussed each other from time to time.This guy is also from SMJK Sam Tet.so its natural for him and Yeong to be close.but then,its also easy for me to get along with you guys,as if we already knew each other all along.
Paul,i still remember our heart-to-heart talk the night before we went to KL for the Upin Ipin thingy.I appreciated it,dude,although the venue of our dialogue was not quite ideal.and i still remember the trip to KL.the agonizing trip,to be exact.in which i had a damn painful stomach ache and you were sitting beside me,telling me to hold it in and helping me all the way.ugggghhh,that painful memory,but thanks nonetheless.you're a loyal friend,dude.i know that.and thanks for calling me that day,asking me to man up and face all my fears.when its time for me to get an advice from a chinese guy,i'll go to either you or yeong.and by the way,all the best for your dentistry profession! ;)

7. Khit Kar Yee
Last,but not least,is Kar Yee.the second girl in my post.A chinese girl,to be exact.ummm,to say that we are close friends is actually not true.we were not actually that close during matrics.sometimes,we hardly spoke.haha.but i started to chat with her after matrics and i found that she's an easy-going girl....or guy.this is a gender bender problem.should i call u bro,or sis?
haha.i'll go for sis when it comes to appearance,but i'll go for bro when it comes to personality.also from SMJK Sam Tet,she is a friend of Yeong and Paul.another attractive girl,but also the dont-mess-around-with-me-if-you-dont-want-your-ass-handed-to-you type.a little exaggerating,you ask?well,simply because she's a black belt,but i dont really remember what level.haha.i simply love to annoy her when it comes to facebook.i also enjoy chatting with her as well,maybe because i want to annoy her.haha.i cant really speak much of you,because i dont really know you that well.but just know that you're one of my good friends and that is why i love to annoy you.no offense,dude,so dont crack my head open k?by the way,this picture was taken on the last day of class,just before study week.Kar Yee,be my valentine!!haha.just kidding.by the way,you dyed your nails black recently,dont ya?eeeesshh...hahaha

and now,all of us are heading our own ways.
Yeong in UNIMAS,doing medic
Paul in UKM,doing dentistry
Kar Yee in UM,doing actuarial science
Ravi in UNIMAP,doing engineering
Mahesa in UPM,doing computer science,i guess
Hemms in UMP,doing chemical engineering
Sutha in UMS,doing medic
and me,in USM,undertaking pharmacy

hope we meet together again,guys.here's a pic or two for our memories


Sutha was not in the above photo coz she was camera shy.wahaha

adieu

Monday, February 15, 2010

Pissed

freakin.pissed.off.
geez,i feel like punching someone,but the stomach wound prevents me from doing so.
if only i continued my martial arts practice.
but now?sigh..i punch like an ass.
but seriusly,when ur freakin pissed,u will feel like u can punch anything u want and break them apart.
i would definitely call my bros so this thing can be settled quickly.alas,they're far,far away from me.
oh well,today's a shitty day and it wont get any better than this.
No thanks to that scrotum-wrenching crap that caused me to get pissed

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Oh,I've made a new blog.

If you're interested,you can check it out.

Nothing much,just fun fact about games.

The weird,and the fun.

toodles!

meh.....

There is a significant difference between what we should do and what we should plan to do.

Case in point: during the sem break last year,I went to KL and met one of my best buddies,Mahesa Sankara.after loafing around,we sat near a big ass drain and just chatted.Then,he took out a cigarette and began to smoke.

Me: Dude,i thought u said u were planning to quit smokin back in matrics?
Mahesa: yeah,and im still planning
Me: Oh,so when would you decide to quit?
Mahesa: 2011.

nice.....

See,i dont really get along well with people who smoke,but mahesa is a different story.

Back in matrics,

Mahesa: Do you know why I smoke?
Me: No.why?
Mahesa: Because I'm a coward.All smokers are coward

Yay..

He's a year older than I am.I dont really know how I met hm,but we became brothers then,and now.

Anyway,the doctor said I should be resting and not do any vigorous activities.man...that sucks.

I remember a time where I used to love parkour.For those of you who do not know what parkour is,im not gonna explain here.go check out wikipedia or youtube or something.

There are two problems regarding my interest in parkour here.first,there are not many tall buildings here in Penang.KL might be a good place for parkour,what with all the obstacles and whatnot.Secondly,there are people here who are discouraging me from undertaking parkour activities.They said that im not good in this,not good in that.back then i believe everything people said about me,and therefore my dreams and interests in parkour wither away.

I dont get it,why are people saying that I dont have the talents for this and the abilities for that when in reality,all i wanna do is to just do it?Nowadays,I dont think I give a fuck anymore on this matter.For example,yeah,i know I dont have a nice,sweet voice to sing.but i love to rap and perform on stage.Thats a good thing for me,actually.To be able to build my self-confidence.and to discover my actual talents.besides,you dont require a nice voice in order to rap.you need skills and stamina.true,i might not have enough stamina.But hey,would i stop rapping just because of that?

Hell no.

And another thing.about my studies.people say that my talent lies in studying.They said that once i start studying,I would be able to grasp and fully understand the important points much,much quicker than everybody else.Thats why i always score well in exam.They said that to prove this,just have a look at my matrics and sem 1 usm CGPA.

THATS my talent?maaaannn...thats so boring.being nothing but a smart alec who scores well in exam is sooooo..boring....but good la.i mean,thats what it takes to be a pharmacist,i think.

Maybe i'll be a rapping pharmacist.and,oh yeah,im gonna form a rap group someday.

Someday..

And i think i need to relearn my sword fighting skills.I wanna have what it takes to be a living weapon.I already have a katana and a pair of nunchuks.maybe i'll be learning wushu someday,and probably get myself a grim reaper scythe.haha,as if..

Eh,what SHOULD i be doing right now?

............Oh,yeah...studying..

Sunday, February 7, 2010

Oh wow!!!

Oh wow,indeed.this week was a very hectic week,what with all the quizzes,practicals and lab reports.
Ok,lets see....where shall i start?hmmmm...

>.<

Ok,lets begin with SHE assignment.my group was assigned with the task of finding out about "Nasrani di Pulau Pinang".

........what?

First of all,even Im sure what's nasrani.I mean,is it Christian as a whole or is it the Christian mazhab such as Catholic and Methodist?Im guessing the former.man....my knowledge on this is looooooooowww...sigh...and how do i expect to lead the group?well...i've gotta try my best and not let the whole team down.There has got to be teamwork and leadership in one team,or else things will never work out.Transport and locations will not be a problem for my group.

So,i guess that will not be any biggie.

Whats next...

Oh yeah,FAR 153.Our group leader,Chew Siang asked me to find articles based on male-female communication.I guess that will not be any problem for me.just find them and do the Harvard referencing style.oh wow...

DOSAGE FORM LAB

I got zero for the quiz.a big,fat telur ayam.i dont blame anyone else for this.heck,i dont even blame myself.i blame the ayam,for giving me that egg.even the egg cannot be goreng and eaten some more.notty ayam.
oh well,at least the practical session went well for me.i dont really know what to write about the practical here.just look up in the manual if you wanna find out what we were supposed to do.

FRIDAY

there's nothing much going on during the day,considering the fact that we don't have lab in the morning session.However,the AGM held at night was the one I looked forward to.why,you ask?well,no particular reason,actually.just something that could distract my mind from the busy week.Gotta give credit to Shahir,Arief and Faiz though,for being selected as the exco.I knew you guys would win.all you guys have to do now is make sure our votes for you were worth it.and dont worry,all of us will be behind you guys all the way.
After the AGM,we went for dinner to celebrate my roommate's victory.11 of us,and I thoroughly enjoyed it.thanks,guys and girls

SATURDAY

Outing!!9 of us.Izzah,Zul,Afiq,Izzati,Areena,Farahana,Jay,Rafiqah and me.I invited Shahir along but he said he was lazy.mehhh....By the way,we went separately,not together.Zul and Afiq went with Zul's bike while Areena and Farahana went with Farahana's bike.Izzah,Izzati,Jay and Rafiqah went together with bus.I went alone,though.why?....ummm....dunno.i thought i was late for the outing.turns out i was the first one to arrive at QB and no one else was there.Oh well...what to do?I cant withdraw money because Bank Islam was under maintenance.So i went to gobble down some unhealthy food at MCD for starters.When all of them arrived,we went to watch Tooth Fairy.the movie itself was not bad.its a way to release some stress.funny,by the way.
Oh,forgot to mention,you look nice with the selendang and eye liner. X)
Before we went back,we hung out at Coffee Bean.All in all,the day was a blast.it was fun
:)

SUNDAY

I woke up,realising i lost my voice,and i sounded like a bapok.
I changed my profile pic in fb to the penguin pic.the penguin I "bought myself".haha.but it is too cute!!thanks,you ;)
There was a Green Lung Carnival launching event rehearsal today,at noon.
urggghhhh....

Btw,I'll stay in USM until Friday,maybe accompanying you. ;)

Life couldn't be any better.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010


A HECTIC WEEK INDEED

Quite a number of things happened in this last few days.
Lets start,shall we?

SUNDAY

I went to Queensbay with my best friend.she bought me a penguin(left)eraser.it has this kinda smell where you can describe as..as..i dont know,but its like chocolate candy kinda smell.i guess.but its cute,so the smell does not really matter,by the way.She bought stickers for her BPC book to differentiate the front and back cover.and i have to admit,they were cute and managed to make her BPC more lively,unlike mine.
OK!OK!they were really cute!
>.<
Then,we went for a drink at Starbucks.I dunno whether this is a good thing,but my name just got changed.
From Syafiq....to Syafia....
.....
Lets see...Areena calls me Syafiqah with no sense of doubt.SHE thinks its cute.
Then,this thing happens..
Look,its the cashier's fault okay..i mean,Syafia?that sounds like a hooker's name
ummmm...wait...
then,one of my friend on Facebook decided that it would be cuter if I am called Syasya.
.................
yeah....

Moving on to Monday,folks!!

MONDAY

Jeng jeng jeng

FROGGIES!

Isnt it cool??we're going to inject some kind of....thing....(look,i forgot the name of whatever it is we're supposed to administer into the frog,ok??)...into the frog.
Cool...
see,the reason i thought it was cool is because i thought we're gonna inject it while the frog is still alive.i lost my lab manual,so its unlikely for me to have thought that we're gonna skin the frog in order to inject that crack.logic,right?
then,i found out about the real,supposedly condition of the frog that we are about to experiment on.

oh....................

But it was fun,although not as fun as the mice experiment.However,the lab session ended early,due to blam!of electwicity.wippeeee!!
oh yeah,forgot to tell you,there was supposed to be a pharmaco quiz this morning,but it was cancelled

(.")/
<()
/\
I didnt study,see?my bad...

TUESDAY

What's the deal with cancelling the inbound presentation?aish...

oh yeah..and the leg pain..hmmm...deal with that later

thats it for now,i'll continue some other time.haha.