Sunday, March 7, 2010


i dont know whats wrong with me
im freakin stupid
its all my fault
words come out of my mouth when i dont mean it
i text stupid,cruel stuffs before even thinking
every night,i wake up abruptly from my sleep,cowering in fear.
i think,i've become insane for real
its my fault
its my fault
its my fault
its my fault
its my fault

Saturday, March 6, 2010


farewell,my cousin...

rest in peace...

sorry i wasnt there...

after 3 days of accepting this news...

only after 3 days have i accepted that you're gone

me?avenging you?i dont know..but i need someone..someone...

but,for today,i pray for you..

insanity've crossed the line..i told you,if u even try to hurt anyone else,i'll tear your face not wanna bring out my rage,right?look,i know you're trying to pull off your revenge on me,but i beg you,stop involving everyone else.maybe that's your way of getting through to me.but i beg you,if you want to torture me,then torture only me.i've let her the most stupidest way possible.i know you're reading this,luqman.i bet you're smiling your ass off.who's the real you,anyway?you've done well playing with my becoming crazy,mental,insane.everytime i am in front of my friends,i have to fake a smile just to hide my condition.on the brink of insanity.look,i havent lost.but clearly you are winning.i've lost her because of myself.and because of you.lets settle this fast,man.
either you finish me off
or we settle this mano-a-mano


they say when you are hit by black magic,and you want to send it back to the sender,you are allowed to do so.but if the sender managed to reflect it back to you,then you're dead.well,i'll be taking that risk.either it will work,or either i die.truthfully,i dont really care.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

ok look, this sucks.big time.
my vision is damn blurry.
i cant even see your face sometimes.
thank goodness i can still read when i squint.
how blurry,you may ask?
well,try seeing red for once
i spoke about this to my roomate and and Zul.
they just treated this as a joke
so,i guess no point speaking about it to them
i also woke up at late night,just to hear friggin voices around me
i am scared
i am freaked out
but no one's there to calm me down.
when i go to class,i always smiled a fake smile
hiding the fear and pain inside
guess i'll go through this alone.
i miss you..

Tuesday, March 2, 2010


Wanna know what he did to me,and what he is still doing?


1. He tried to kill me

2. He made me suffer from chest pains, making me feel like my heart is about to burst any time soon.

3. He made me pass out almost every night.

4. He made me forget stuffs I'm not supposed to forget.

5. He made me vomit blood.

6. He made me see "things".

7. He made me try to kill myself.


1. He's trying to play psychology with me.

2. He tricked me and I fell into his trap.

3. He's torturing me mentally.

4. He's trying to wipe out my sense of sight.

5. He's making me hear voices deep inside my head.

I lost..