Wednesday, December 1, 2010

How To Survive A Zombie Invasion

Fact: zombie invasions suck. Just ask anyone who’s been through one, and he’ll tell you: “bluurble gurrble braiiins.” Does that sound like the guttural moaning of someone who had a good time? No, it sure as shit does not.


Above: Not a good time

There are books and websites out there that claim to contain the best techniques for keeping your flesh intact during an outbreak, but I have something they don’t: experience… playing a lot of zombie games. With the recent influx of zombie themed games (Dead Rising, Left 4 Dead, Resident Evil 5, and CoD: World at War’s zombie Nazi mode, to name a few) I’ve been able to rack up hundreds of hours of zombie invasion training.

Want to save your organs from being spread out across cold pavement like hors d'oeuvres? Soak up my tips with your eyeballs and remember them forever. In fact, I suggest you write everything here down on a series of note cards to keep with you at all times (always be prepared!). Remember: you and at least three other survivors can make it out of the infected area if you stay together, follow my advice, and don’t mind the occasional gut spray to your face.

Is it a zombie invasion?

Before you do anything, you need to determine whether or not a zombie invasion has occurred, and estimate the scope of the invasion. Is the entire civilized world in ruins, or just the mysterious little town you wandered into? Are there any safe routes away from the epicenter, or at least to the mall?


Above: Sometimes zombies look like this, but other times they don’t

If the power is on, turn on a TV. If the situation has been contained and quarantined by the military, it will probably be reported by out-of-town news as a “chemical spill,” “biological hazard,” or “cannibal terrorist attack.” You’ve probably seen reports like this before about towns near you. Now you know.

If you can’t receive any channels on cable, satellite, or broadcast TV, you may be dealing with a much larger outbreak. There’s a good chance that the employees of your local broadcast affiliates and cable offices are now zombies, reporting on zombie news and acting in their own zombie sitcoms, possibly with cute names like “Everybody Loves Raymond’s Brains” or “Marinated with Children.” Fact: zombies are very creative when left to their own devices, and enjoy dry humor.


Above: Why would I make this up?

Lacking any access to one or two-way communication (TV, phone, internet, smoke signals), there are other ways to determine if a zombie outbreak has occurred. Go outside and check for the following signs.

The 10 most common signs of a zombie outbreak

10. You live in the vicinity of a highly secretive biotech corporation, the offices of which are generating a suspicious moaning sound.
9. You responded to a static-ey distress call from a dark mining ship in deep space by landing on it.
8. You’re surrounded by a highly unusual amount of fog which seems to follow you (sometimes even indoors).
7. You woke up alone in a hospital.
6. You were just talking about zombie invasions the last night! Weird how things happen like that, isn’t it?
5. You’ve been encountering an improbable number of locked doors.
4. You’ve been in some way involved with a book called “The Necronomicon.”
3. You performed strange rituals in a graveyard the night before. (Why would you do this?)
2. There are a bunch of zombies walking around.
1. You are a zombie.


Defensive Measures

Know how people always say “The best defense is a good offense?” Those people are stupid assholes. Sure, you won’t have a problem defending yourself if you kill all of the zombies, but you’re never going to do that, unless maybe you have a nuclear bomb, in which case you’ll die too. So what then, people who repeat trite phrases?

Well, there is no perfect zombie defense structure, but any well fortified building will do for a while. Of course, you can’t stay any longer than your water and food rations will last, so you’d better hope your rescue is swift (unless you have a replicator from Star Trek or something, but in that case, just teleport out of there and go on more crazy space adventures!). More commonly, outbreak survivors choose to risk life and brain and dash out of the infected area, generally with guns blazing, and possibly with no holds barred. But if you do decide to stick out the invasion and wait for rescue, you’ll want to be in a building with thick fire doors, caged windows, and some kind of soundproofing (so they can’t hear you, and you don’t have to hear them). Either that, or a mall, the old standby (not particularly recommended).

If, however, you’re more into the whole making a last stand with nothing but a pistol and mean look in your eye type of thing, there are a few points to consider before you face the horde.

Armor
Without external protection, a routine zombie encounter can easily be your last - one bite and it’s all moaning and outstretched arms for you. So a thick, bite-proof coating will serve you well. Put on as much leather as possible. A motorcycle helmet can’t hurt either, and it’ll make you look really cool. If you’re a woman, however, some kind of slinky red dress or short skirt will provide adequate protection. Fact: male zombies are highly intimidated by displays of sexuality, and female zombies can easily become self conscious when confronted by whole, non-decomposed figures.

Aid
Any injury that might delay your escape could be fatal, so be sure to carry a basic first aid kit in case you break a leg, shoot yourself in the foot, or just decide to end it all the painless way. Do be sure to pack several bottles of pain killers (raid your local pharmacy!), as they’ll be necessary if physical pain starts slowing you down, or you just feel like getting silly for a bit.

Transportation
In the case that you’re traveling on foot, remember to wear comfortable shoes, such as combat boots with lots of cool latches and zippers or high heels. If traveling by car, it’s recommended that you barrel through obstacles with no regard for the structural integrity of the vehicle. Running over large groups of zombies will probably cause very little damage to the vehicle, assuming that it’s not American made - I hear American auto manufacturers have been making a few cutbacks lately.


Fighting Zombies

No matter how skilled you are at slinking around in the night, you’ll eventually have to fight, and when push comes to flesh eating, you can’t take chances. Listen, you’ve got zombies, zombies coming at you. Just start shooting, seriously. You can find more ammo. If by some bizarre circumstance you run out of ammo, pick up something and start bashing. Go for the heads, but if that’s too hard, just go crazy until they’re pretty much just clouds of undead vapor (try not to inhale any of it). Here are a few vital tips to keep in mind:

Stick together – You ever seen a movie or game in which someone doesn’t die immediately after the team is split up?


Above: TEAMWORK!

Avoid irony – Make a remark which has the potential for irony, and you’re almost certainly going to be the horde’s next victim. Especially avoid sarcasm. Some examples are:

• “Yeah, right, the undead? I don’t believe in any of that Voodoo nonsen-aaaaaaghhhh!”
• “Everyone okay? Good… I think we got them all, and we’re all still aliiiiiiiiigghhhhhhhhhhh!”
• “What is this, some kind of joke? I suppose you’re all making that face so that I think there’s a zombie behind me right now, huh? Yeah, and he’s gonna take a big bite out of my heeeaaaaaaaarrrrghhhh!”

Look for crates – Crates almost always contain something good. If you don’t see any crates around, look in cabinets – you’d be surprised how many homeowners keep hunting rifles and combat shotguns in their armoires.

Close doors – If you’ve played Left 4 Dead recently, you should know that zombies can’t open doors. It’s not so much that they lack the cognitive power to understand latch and hinge mechanisms - even dogs can figure that out - it’s just that they tend to favor more dramatic entries. In fact, as a general rule, if it would be scarier, or look cooler, that’s what a zombie will do. Busting through a door with brute force is much more impressive than opening it and casually strolling in, but since zombies aren’t particularly strong, it can take them several hours to knock down a single door.

Distract them with light – Zombies are attracted to any source of light, which is why you should turn off your flashlight when you think they’re near (night vision goggles help) and carry several flares on you to use as decoys. Tip: Tape an LED keychain light to your buddy’s back for a great practical joke!

Don’t let them get too close – Most zombies can’t run, which is mostly because they’re dead. Given this, you should be able to keep the horde from getting too close. If you have any aiming ability (and I assume you’ve played enough videogames that you do, because we all know they train kids to shoot like pros), keep the undead at a safe distance and pick them off with a rifle. If not, you may have to get closer and use a shotgun. Either way, don’t let yourself get surrounded. If you are surrounded, there’s a 74% chance that someone will drop a rope from a helicopter and pull you to safety as the horde’s outstretched arms futilely grope at your legs – but those odds aren’t good enough to risk it.

Above: MOST zombies can’t run

Guns and Explosives

Once you’ve identified a zombie outbreak, determined its extent, and planned your defense strategy, your first stop should be the nearest gun dealer or sporting goods store. You don’t have a chance without at least one good weapon, so get looting!

Shotguns
The classic zombie killing weapon comes in three main types: automatic, pump action, and breach loading. Ideally you’ll have access to an automatic shotgun, but they’re a bit harder to come by, so you’ll probably find yourself with a pump action or breach loading gun. A pump action shotgun is the kind you generally see in zombie movies - the empty shells are released via pumping a mechanism beneath the barrel. Breach loading shotguns are more prevalent in westerns – they are loaded by separating the barrel from the handle, and are a bit easier to maintain.

When confronted with a large horde, hold the shotgun at your hip and spray upward into the mob while swaying side to side. It might not be super effective, but you’ll look pretty cool doing it. When taking out individual zombies, hold the gun at shoulder level and aim directly for the head (beware of spraying guts and stuff).

Handguns
It’s important to keep a handgun on your hip as a backup weapon and for clearing tight spaces. For the inexperienced, it may be good to keep a revolver on standby as they are easier to maintain. A semi-automatic pistol, however, is more effective against zombies because of the faster reload time. Revolver or semi-automatic, the ideal handgun is capable of exploding heads with a single shot. Here are a few suggestions:

Remington .44 Magnum revolver - If only because you can pretend you’re Dirty Harry, and possibly have the opportunity to say something like, “Yo undead, make my day.”
Desert Eagle - If you’re feeling brave, go with a .50 Action Express cartridge and you should have no problem blowing heads off. Be aware, however, that the Desert Eagle only holds seven rounds, and when you’re fighting zombies, you’re usually fighting a lot of zombies.
Glock 17 and other variants –A popular and reliable gun, the Glock 17 is favored by gangsta rappers because of the number of words it rhymes with (“I cocked my Glock and hit the block, snappin’ you like a celery stalk, gonna draw your outline wit’ a piece of chalk, etc.”), and works best when you hold it sideways and yell. The Glock is also the handgun of choice for the FBI, and if anyone knows anything about zombie outbreaks, it’s Mulder and Scully.

Rifles
Hunting and WWII era rifles aren’t too effective at close range, but if you’re a good shot you can pick off stray zombies from a distance, and clear out roads or other open spaces before traversing them. The loud gunshots may betray your location, so when attempting long-range combat make sure you’re in a secure position and have someone watching your back. A sturdy bolt-action rifle is a very reliable weapon to have in your arsenal.

If you can get your hands on a modern assault rifle, by all means, run around with it shooting things (you might want to take out a few squirrels while you’re at it, for dinner). A standard M16 should work fine.

Fragmentation Grenades
If for some reason you actually find some frag grenades, they’ll be pretty useless to you. Low range, a small effective radius, and only a slight chance of decapitation or dismemberment make them an undesirable zombie killing weapon.

Rocket Propelled Grenades and other Rocket Launchers
If you have one, and you see a bunch of zombies, what the hell are you waiting for?


Melee Weapons

Baseball bats
A well-swung bat can crush a zombie skull, though it will most likely take a few direct hits. Still, a bat is a good, basic, easy-to-acquire weapon, and is even better if you stick some nails in it, as most things are.

Axes
The axe can be a powerful decapitator, but it has a few unfortunate limitations. For one thing, you only get one try – stick an axe into the neck of a zombie and just see if you can get it out before being gnawed to death. Secondly, the long handle makes it tough to use if a zombie gets too close, so you may want to try a hatchet instead. Despite their shortcomings, however, axes are good utility tools to have on hand - for breaking down doors ‘n’ stuff.

Crowbars
A good multi-use tool, and great for killing certain crab-like parasites. If you have a choice, always get a red one, especially if you’re the quiet type.


Above: Slightly rarer than regular crowbars

Chainsaws
The weapon of choice for Ash of The Evil Dead series, the chainsaw may not be the best weapon (it requires gas, it is prone to breakage, and sawing off zombie heads takes far too long), but it’s certainly one of the coolest, and looking cool is a big part of zombie hunting.


Above: Just try to be as much like Ash Williams as possible

High Definition TVs
Rumored to be a weapon popular amongst photojournalists, HDTV’s are rather bulky and don’t do much more than weigh you down. In a pinch, however, you might as well hit the undead mob with whatever you have.

Swords
There’s nothing like a high-quality katana for slicing up zombie necks, though be aware that most katanas you find are display replicas, and will fall apart faster than a scone made of politicians’ alibis. Broad swords and the like are a bit less effective, for their weight.

If for some reason you’re wandering through the woods and you find a sword in a pedestal, and when you pick it up you hear a strangely familiar little tune, keep it. The same goes if you pull a sword out of a stone (note: you may be king).


Above: This could be you

Shovels
A well-made shovel can chop and hack, but with significantly less effectiveness than a proper bladed weapon. Nevertheless, their abundance in graveyards has made them popular zombie hunting weapons. Also good for burying downed friends, though you may want to chop off their heads before putting them six feet under, y’know, just in case.



Above: He may need a bigger shovel

Thursday, November 25, 2010

It Ended With A Blast

Oh my God.. Its been like, more than a month since I last wrote here, and what a month it was.

Well.. not really.

The most hellish part of this semester is of course, the exam week. Since I'm taking management as an elective course, I had to face a 5 day exam, back-to-freakin-back. It really took the crap out of me. By the end of the first week, I was qualified to be admitted into a mental hospital. Oh, but it doesn't end there, oh no.

The first day of the second week of exam, they fed us with physical pharmacy, and it all ended on friday with Biochem. I was expecting Biochem to be manageable, but damn it all. That was one of the, if not the most, toughest of the lot. Seriously, I think that if the lecturers can kill us, they probably will. A part of me just died after Biochem. Probably the red blood cells.

Then again, we all celebrated the end of exams with a blast! :) Well, at least I know I do. I mean, who wouldn't be happy after surviving a killer two week?

After the paper, I went straight back to my room, took a break, and got ready for the Friday prayers. After the prayers, Desmond, Jasper, Wong and I went to Secret Recipe near Sunshine to take this:


Yep, the birthday cake I ordered for Izzah. Planned the whole thing a month ago. Why? Well, coz I never planned any birthday suprises for anyone before, so yeah, just taking the necessary steps early. To be honest, my arms were trembling so badly when I wanted to present this cake to her. It all went okay, of course. Personally, I love the design of the cream, or whatever, at the perimeter of the cake. I also managed to invite Izzah's mom and bro for this. By the way, the look on her face and her reactions when all of us suprised her was epic :)

After that, its off to HP7!

Well, what can I say, I love it, love it, love it, LOVE IT!! Okay, okay, so maybe its because I'm a huge HP fan, but seriously, the movie was so epic. I can't wait for the finale next year. Oh darn it, have to wait some more! After the movie, I ate with Izzah's family at TGIF. First time eating there. Its nice, of course, but costly. Maybe I'll eat there again some other time, but only once in a while.

All in all, the day the exam ended was a blast. Haha. I know, I know, this post shows my lameness coz I only wrote bout what I did last week, but hey, I had fun. I'll be going to QB tomorrow to watch Rapunzel. I don't think I need to book a ticket coz I'll be watching alone. Its impossible that all the tickets would be sold out, right?

Right?

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Hari Ini Dalam Sejarah

Hari ni memang betul-betul happening.

Woke up this morning to have diarrhea 3 times. Thats a hat-trick.

Went to morning class, can't even focus. Today's also the first time Prof Zhari cracked a joke that I actually laughed at. "Bau drug macam jamban". Lol :D But then I felt stomach pain.

After class, I went back to my room. Suddenly felt like I'm going to have a fever. My head hurt so much I was sure it was going to split at any moment. Leg cramps? Check.

Sigh.. Hari ini dalam sejarah betui...

Saturday, October 2, 2010

iBowlers

Yesterday was the bowling tournament, and whaddya know, my team won first place. Yippeee :D


I am sooo happy. I mean, we didn't expect to win at all, like, seriously. We also didn't expect the competition to be that serious and tough. We were all like, "aiyaaaa.. we go there and play for fun only lor..." in the first place. When we actually got there, well, lets just say my bladder became tighter.

I gotta say, this place is cool-looking. Its just recently been opened and all the lanes and the bowling balls there are brand new. So, yeah.

The one thing that I'm impressed with my group about is how we emphasized teamwork the whole time the competition was running. We just stayed quiet and did not cheer too much as we wanted to conserve our energy. When one of us scored some points, we just clapped for him and did a high-5. Its these small little things that can raise the teammate's spirit and keep the competition going. Every one of us contributed something and played our own roles.

Jasper is basically the motivator. Each time one of us scored, he will give us a high-5 and said "congrats". Even if we didn't score a single point, he told us to stay focused and have fun. He's the guy who kept the team together, basically.

Andrew is the main man. He's the one who scored the highest in every game, so we kinda depended on him to achieve a high total score. He's either scoring strike, spare, or 8-9 pins. He's the one who made up for all of the other teammate's scores. I'm so proud of you, dude.

Desmond is the so-called "miracle guy". I dunno how he did it, some moves. I was like, waaaaa...... so kaw-kaw dude! Haha. I couldn't find the words to describe his style of playing coz you have to be there to know what I am talking about.

Me? Well.. I dunno. Haha

But, all in all, we won. The difference in total score between our team and the first runner-up was only by 4 points. That. Was. Close. I still couldn't believe it. :)

Oh well, if there is gonna be another competition next year, we're so gonna enter it, right, guys? I'm so proud of us, the iBowlers.

Friday, October 1, 2010

Uuuuhhhhh....

Gulp..

Uh, yeah.. So today's the day of the bowling tournament. To be honest, I'm quite nervous. Well, yeah, I've never been in any tournament before.

I'm not good in bowling myself. I mean, I have a good aim and all, but to say that I am a professional in it, well, that's quite a long shot.

Some more, I don't know how I'll do today with this hand of mine. Last time, my tendon was injured. Its healed already, yes. However, if I twist my hand to a certain degree, it will still hurt. Hopefully I can do well today and not let my teammates down. 3 games today. Well, all the best.

:)

Thursday, September 23, 2010

Please?


Please, please come out fast. Pretty please? I'm so gonna watch this movie Izzah, no matter what. We both are BIG FANS of Harry Potter.

Pleeeeeeeeeeeaaaaasssssseeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Assignments Je Tau

Even Maher Zain songs couldn't save me this time.

I'm too tired and frustrated with all the silly mistakes made. I am frustrated.REALLY.

But who am I to say anything anyway? I mean, its not like screaming at their faces would help things anyway. That's why I just smiled whenever I'm in front of them. But, in my room, I feel exhausted. Sighing now and then.

I feel the need to have a time out. Bury my head somewhere until the storms passed. But how can something so simple be made so hard. Is it so hard to avoid all those mistakes? I wish all these stupid assignments will be over soon. Sigh...

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Busy, But Enough Time To Update My Blog

Phew.. Long time.. Haha. I dunno why I took so long to update my blog, when in fact i'm free as hell. Well, not exactly. I still have tonnes to study, and not forgetting my assignments, still. Second year is hellish when it comes to squeezing the balls out of us. I'm SOOOOO behind in my studies, but I'm trying to keep up of course. I study little by little each day. Slow, yes, but better than nothing. When I'm too tired of studying, or too stressed, I'll just chill myself out by playing some games on my 360 or with my DS. Something to take my mind off studying, I guess. Oh well, its 1.23 am now and I just finished my 4-page assignment for my Kompang ko-k subject. I mean, really? A bloody assignment for this course too? Sigh.. Thank god the coordinator allowed us to write ANYTHING about Kompang in 4 pages at the very least. I finished this assignment in around 1 hour or so. Hadoi... I never realised that I'll be facing so, so many assignments this sem.

Lets see...

I'm the group leader for my FAR241 assignment, and I've gotta say, we're doing really, really well on that. Brian did an amazing job on the video while Azarin and Suet Ting together with Brian as well did an impressive job on our poster design. Ms Aisyah said our poster and video were really, really good (yeah, she said 'really' twice, people). Oh God, was I relieved to hear that. Getting her approval is like, well... I ran out of words to make a comparison here. :p Now we're left with the report and brochure. Hopefully all of these can be completed within the first week after the holidays end.

My med chem assignment, I'm supposed to do a report on a drug used for the reproductive system. I haven't finished that yet, but at least its not a group project, meaning I can take my own sweet time finishing it. Teehee! But then again, its gonna be a viva presentation. So, I need to take this thing seriously too.

Management project? Meh... I'm not the leader. Wait for Brian and Sin Yin's orders. Lalalala. :D

Hmmmm... Next thing I'm gonna talk about is my interest in Maher Zain's songs. Who's Maher Zain? Well... Its this guy.


Amazing vocal, amazing songs. True, I don't really have an interest in nasyid, but this guy is just.. whoa. Earlier this sem, some of my facebook friends posted videos of this guy's songs like "For The Rest Of My Life" and "Hold My Hand" on facebook. Fair enough, I never knew this guy back then. But, one day, I tried listening to his song and voila! I was instantly hooked. True, I like rock songs and some rap songs by Eminem, but this guy is something different. Try listening to "For The Rest Of My Life". He dedicated that song to his wife and it sounded so sweet. Really. Try also listening to "Barakka Allah Lakuma". That song is super nice. The beat of that song is a joy to listen to. Its hard to believe that this guy was once the producer of Lady Gaga's songs. Thank God that Maher realized the demonic meaning behind her songs and quit. Lady Gaga is scary though. Stay this way, Maher. Present us with your wonderful songs because it managed to make me feel calm while completing my assignments and studying. Really, I could listen to his songs over and over again and never get bored. I'm listening to his songs right now while I'm writing this and boy, I've never felt this calm, soothing feeling before. Keep it up, man. I salute you.

Next thing I'm gonna talk about is my best friend. For my other friends in USM who are reading this, you'd probably know who I'm talking about already. I don't really have that much to talk about her right now, but I just wanna say one thing: She's the bestest friend anyone could ever hope to have. Yeah, you people might be thinking that I'm exaggerating here, but I'm not kidding. I mean, cmon, sometimes we laugh over nothing.

Wait..no..laughing over nothing would probably mean that we're mental.

But then again, maybe we are :)

She could say I'm fat and we would laugh about it like there's no tomorrow. By the end of the day, I would have stomachache, my cheeks would probably be sore, but I'll still laugh.

However, I'm not saying our friendship is all rosey. it has its ups and downs. We've had our fair share of fights between us, but we'll make up. Its impossible for me to be mad at her for long, because at the back of my head, I know that this is one of the best thing that happened to me since I entered USM. Wanna know how our friendship starts? Well, its just by a simple dinner invitation, and from there, it developed. We've had our adventures, movie-going trips and much more. I'm happy enough the way things are. If things were to develop more between us, then so be it.

Here's to you, my bestest friend :)

Sunday, August 29, 2010

Hok Aloh...

Recently, Malaysia was "shocked" with the issue of allowing a non-Muslim entering a mosque. They made this into such a big issue, as if its gonna destroy Malaysia or something.

Hok aloh.... macam la aku xtawu, gara-gara politik, memang benda macam ni pun nak dijadikan isu. Pekebendenye yang si YB tu buat? Maki dalam masjid? Kencing dalam masjid? Takkan laa dia nak bagi tazkirah pulak kot, kan? Haaaaa... mula laa aku nak cakap dalam BM nih. Bende-bende politik ni memang kotor. Ko basuh la macamana pun, tetap tengik, bertaik. Pasal tu aku cukup meluat gila kalau ada orang yang mula berpolitik kat wall facebook nih. Tolong la, dah la isu perkauman ko bawak naik. Ni pulak isu orang bukan Islam masuk masjid.

Aku tak sokong mana-mana parti pun, sebenarnya. Tapi kalau yang salah tu, kot mana pun salah la gak kan? Yang aku pelik ni, nape bab orang-orang bukan Islam ni masuk masjid pun nak dipolitikkan? Bukan ada salah pa pown. Kepada orang yang cakap benda tu salah...pale hotak ko! Aku tawu la, aku datang dari sekolah agama. Time tu rilek je kami bawak orang bukan Islam melawat surau kami. Tak dak pa pown.

Pada sesapa yang tak puas hati, nih ada hujah-hujah aku amik dari tenet.

Ketika Majlis fatwa telah mengeluarkan hukum berkait keharusan bukan Islam mengunjungi masjid sebagaimana yang diputuskan oleh Muzakarah Jawatankuasa Fatwa Majlis Kebangsaan Bagi Hal Ehwal Ugama Islam Malaysia Kali Ke-90 yang bersidang pada 1 Mac 2010 telah membincangkan Hukum Pelancong Bukan Islam Memasuki Masjid Dan Ruang Solat Utama Di Dalam Masjid. Muzakarah telah memutuskan bahawa pelancong bukan Islam diharuskan memasuki masjid dan ruang solat dengan syarat mendapat keizinan pihak pengurusan masjid dan perlakuan serta tingkah laku mereka tidak mencemarkan kesucian masjid dan sentiasa terkawal dan beradab. Walaubagaimanapun, perbuatan berdoa atau bertafakur oleh pelancong bukan Islam mengikut cara agama mereka dalam keadaan yang boleh menimbulkan fitnah adalah dilarang.

1. Dalam hal-hal yang berkaitan ibadah, sensitiviti umat Islam sangat tinggi dan nilai-nilai ta'abbudi amat dititikberatkan oleh masyarakat Islam.

2. Umat Islam dibenarkan melakukan ibadah sembahyang walaupun di dalam gereja kerana Saidina Umar al-Khattab pernah melakukannya. Umat Islam perlu bersikap tasamuh dan tidak terlalu rigid dalam membenarkan orang bukan Islam mendekati masjid.

3. Keindahan Islam boleh ditunjukkan kepada orang bukan Islam melalui lawatan mereka ke masjid-masjid selaras dengan peraturan dan garis panduan yang telah ditetapkan oleh pengurusan masjid.

4. Sikap membenarkan orang bukan Islam memasuki masjid tidak boleh disamakan dengan sikap tidak membenarkan penggunaan kalimah Allah oleh Kristian kerana konsepnya adalah berbeza.

Dan memang itu pun yang dilakukan oleh umat Islam diluar Malaysia yang merupakan amalan yang dilakukan sendiri oleh Rasulullah Saw dan para sahabat. Masjid merupakan pusat pemerintahan, pusat pentadbiran, pusat kehakiman, tempat ibadah, tempat pertemuan duta-duta asing yang ingin menemui Rasulullah Saw maupun khalifah selepas baginda.

1. Masjid Lakemba di Sydney yang merupakan antara tertua dan terbesar. Mereka mengundang bukan Islam serta memberi penjelasan berkait kekeliruan tentang Islam. Mereka sentiasa mengadakan hari terbuka yang member banyak manfaat dakwah. Sheikh Yahya Safi, sebagai imam yang merupakan kelahiran lubnan menyebut ianya memberi ruang untuk berdialog serta menolak salah-faham terhadap Islam. Bahkan ramai yang terbuka hati dan mendapat hidayah dan memeluk agama Islam




2. Lebih 2,000 masjid di Jerman telah mengadakan Hari khusus pada hari Rabu dan terbuka kepada umum termasuk bukan Islam untuk mengunjungi masjid, melihat ibadah umat Islam dan bertanyakan tentang Islam.



3. 3 May 2010, pihak Masjid Makkah di United Kingdom telah mengadakan pameran Islam secara tahunan dan dikunjungi oleh rombongan setiausaha kerajaan Alan Johnson. Mereka sempat melawat dan megadakan dialog dan perbincangan didalam masjid tersebut.

4. Sempena Ramadhan The Golden Mosque Lower Sheriff Street, Rochdale telah mengadakan hari terbuka dengan mengundang orang ramai termasuk bukan Islam untuk berbuka puasa dan mendapat taklimat tentang islam didalam masjid yang dikendalikan oleh imam selaku pengerusi masjid iaitu Tahir Mahmood.


5. Pusat Islam London .Terletak di Regent Park yang sibuk dengan orang-ramai khususnya hari jumaat yang menampung 10,000 jamaah. Para pelawat akan diberi penerangan oleh Pegawai Perhubungan Awam pusat Islam tersebut iaitu Omar Saddique. Beliau memberi penjelasan tentang Islam dan setiap persoalan yang diutarakan oleh para pelawat didalam masjid tersebut.


6. Di Durban, Masjid dan selaku Pusat Islam yang pernah diasas dan dikelolakan oleh Syeikh Ahmad Deedat iaitu IPCI, seorang pendakwah tersohor telah menyediakan hari lawatan khusus kepada non muslim sebagai Mosque Tours dan memberi penjelasan tentang ibadah dan penerangan tentang islam dan perbandingan agama. Khususnya amalan para nabi yang ditinggalkan oleh Yahudi dan nasrani tetapi diamalkan oleh umat Islam seperti membuat kasut sebelum masuk ke tempat suci (masjid), berwudhu dengan membersih diri, kiblat, cara iabadah dengan sujud dan ruku’ yang merupakan amalan para nabi semenjak bani Israel lagi. Ramai yang tertarik dan akhirnya memeluk Islam disitu.


7. Lihat bagaimana Obama sendiri yang menziarahi masjid turut membuka kasut beliau untuk masuk ke ruang solat. Bahkan Pope sebagai ketua agama Kristian Khatolik juga masuk ke masjid dalam lawatannya ke negara Arab. Kalau berlaku di Malaysia nescaya berlakulah kiamat.


8. Masjid al-Azhar sendiri membenarkan pelawat bukan Islam memasuki ruang dalaman masjid termasuklah Putera Charles dan Lady Diana dengan ditemani oleh Syeikh Azhar ketika itu iaitu Syeikh Tantawi. Kalau kat Malaysia mungkin Majlis Agama menghambat mereka kot?.

Bahkan banyak masjid-masjid lain diseluruh dunia menganjurkannya. Termasuk di Malaysia sendiri kecuali apabila timbulnya isu YB DAP dari parlimen Serdang Teo Nie Ching dengan kejadian masuk ke Surau Huda di Kajang. Beliau telah mendapat keizinan drp pihak pengurusan surau utk memasuki ruang solat bagi menyampaikan bantuan kpd surau tersebut dan bukannya member tazkirah tetapi sekadar ucapan sempena pemberian bantuan kepada surau tersebut. So, yang dok jadi kat Malaysia ni, pehal kecoh sangat? Apa cerrr...??


Majoriti ulama melarang bukan Islam memasuki masjidil haram atas larangan yang terdapat di dalam ayat al-Quran:-


يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُواْ إِنَّمَا الْمُشْرِكُونَ نَجَسٌ فَلاَ يَقْرَبُواْ الْمَسْجِدَ الْحَرَامَ بَعْدَ عَامِهِمْ هَـذَا
Ertinya :
Hai orang-orang yang beriman, sesungguhnya orang-orang yang musyrik itu kotor, maka janganlah mereka mendekati Masjidil haram sesudah tahun ini.. (At-Taubat : 28)


Berdasarkan dua ayat ini, majoriti ulama dari kalangan mazhab maliki dan Syafie melarang bukan Islam memasuki Masjidil Haram, namun demikian dibenarkan bagi ahli Kitab (Kristian dan Yahudi) untuk memasukinya dengan syarat-syarat tertentu.


Satu lagi adalah :-


أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُواْ لاَ تَقْرَبُواْ الصَّلاَةَ وَأَنتُمْ سُكَارَى حَتَّىَ تَعْلَمُواْ مَا تَقُولُونَ وَلاَ جُنُبًا إِلاَّ عَابِرِي سَبِيلٍ حَتَّىَ تَغْتَسِلُواْ
Ertinya :
"Hai orang-orang yang beriman, janganlah kamu salat, sedang kamu dalam keadaan mabuk, sehingga kamu mengerti apa yang kamu ucapkan, (jangan pula hampiri mesjid) sedang kamu dalam keadaan junub, terkecuali sekedar berlalu saja." ( 4:43 )


Imam Abu Hanifah pula menyatakan non-muslim dibenarkan untuk memasuki masjidil haram sekadar lalu, namun tidak dibenarkan untuknya duduk dan menetap di sana (sebagaimana sebahagian umat Islam); ini kerana beliau berpandangan, ‘kotor' yang disebut di dalam ayat itu hanyalah membawa maksud kekotoran syirik yang melibatkan hati bukannya kekotoran fizikal. Lebih dari itu, Ibn Hajar menyatakan mazhab Hanafi membenarkan bukan Islam memasuki masjid tanpa syarat.
Imam Ahmad Hanbal pula menyatakan bukan Islam hanya dibenarkan untuk memasuki masjidil haram dan lainnya setelah mendapat kebenaran dari umat Islam atas tujuan-tujuan yang munasabah seperti pembinaan dan maintainance. Beliau mengambil dalil iaitu penduduk Taif dibenarkan oleh nabi s.a.w untuk menetap dan tinggal di masjid sebelum mereka memeluk Islam.

Rasulullah juga diriwayatkan menerima tetamu Kristian dari Najran di dalam masjid Madinah, malah ketika itu mereka juga diizinkan oleh Nabi s.a.w untuk menunaikan sembahyang mereka di dalam masjid, nabi menyebut kepada sahabat
"Biarkan mereka (untuk menyelesaikan sembahyang mereka)"
Selain itu, Imam Al-Bukhari juga ada membawakan sebuah hadis yang menyebut bagaimana seorang bukan Islam bernama Thamamah ibn Athal, diikat oleh Rasulullah di dalam masjid (ditangkap atas kesalahan tertentu),


بعث رسول اللَّهِ خَيْلًا قِبَلَ نَجْدٍ فَجَاءَتْ بِرَجُلٍ من بَنِي حَنِيفَةَ يُقَالُ له ثُمَامَةُ بن أُثَالٍ فَرَبَطُوهُ بِسَارِيَةٍ من سَوَارِي الْمَسْجِدِ
Ertinya : Rasulullah s.a.w menghantar seorang berkuda di arah Najd, maka terlihat seorang lelaki dari Bani Hanfiah ( sedang mengintip) yang bernama Thumamah Bin Uthal, lalu diikatnya di satu tiang dari tiang-tiang masjid ( Riwayat Al-Bukhari & Muslim )

Selepas tiga hari, akhirnya setelah dia melihat bagaimana umat islam beribadah dan keramahan umat Islam kepadanya yang sentiasa bertanya keadaannya, dia akhirnya memeluk Islam kerana tertawan melihat keindahan kehidupan dan ibadah umat Islam.

HUKUM MASUK MASJID SELAIN MASJIDIL HARAM

Imam Ibn Hajar Al-‘Asqolani ketika menghuraikan isu ini mengatakan mazhab Maliki tetap MELARANG bukan Islam memasuki masjid manakala Mazhab Syafie, Hanbali dan Hanafi membenarkan bukan Islam untuk memasuki masjid-masjid lain dengan syarat-syarat tertentu. Beliau juga menegaskan kebenaran ini cukup kuat dari dalil tawanan perang bernama Thumamah tersebut.
Imam Nawawi menghuraikan :
Melihat kepada hadis ini, harus hukumnya mengikat tawanan dan menahannya serta harus juga seorang yang bukan Islam untuk memasuki masjid. Mazhab Syafie : menyatakan keharusannya dengan syarat terdapat keizinan dari umat Islam sama ada kafir itu dari kalangan ahli Kitab atau selainnya. Namun Khalifah Umar bin Abd Aziz, Qatadah dan Imam Malik tidak mengharuskannya. (Syarah Sohih Muslim, 12/87)

Imam Al-Mawardi As-Syafie membawakan pula teks kata-kata Imam Syafie dalam hal ini iaitu :-

ولا بأس أن يبيت المشرك في كل مسجد إلا المسجد الحرام
Ertinya : Tiada masalah untuk seorang bukan Islam menetap di setiap masjid kecuali masjidil Haram. ( Al-Hawi Al-Kabir, 2/268)


So, pa pe yang berkaitan pasal politik ni, memang macam-macam boleh jadi. Tolong laa sikit ek, kalau nak salahkan orang lain,buat research dulu. Jangan sesekali tuduh melulu kalau takda hujah. Aku mengaku, aku tak la pandai sangat dalam bab-bab ni, tapi at least aku tak la terus percaya. Hahahaha. korang pikir-pikir sendiri la ek. tata~