okay.i guess i can update my blog by telling you about what has been going on this week.

27th jan 2010:

Dosage Form lab

FINALLY!FINALLY!Its the moment I've been waiting for!!!The first practical that we're gonna do in the dosage form lab.i entered the lab with confidence and excitement,seeing this as an oppoturnity to make my own medicines.I entered the lab,and...........

Quiz?.......Im f**ked...

Ok,so the first half of the quiz wasnt too bad at all.in fact,it was a breeze.for me,that is.coz the first half of the quiz was all about conversions.basically,if you know your basics,you can do it well.

The second half of the quiz?Well,its about Latin abbreviations.Since I only memorised the Latin abbreviations that start with the letter "A" along with its meaning and nothing else,you be the judge on how I did on the quiz.Oh well,hope I passed the quiz,at least.I have yet to know my score,coz I deliberately "forgot" to ask Dr Yvonne about it.

Ok,Ok,back to the main topic.

So basically we have to make our own drugs.4 of them,to be exact.The type of drugs we are supposed to make are liniment,elixir,inhalation,and ear drops,with the latter being an examporaneous(look,i don't know how to spell this crap,ok?) experiment.

Started with the elixir-making procedure.To sum it up,my table was a mess by the time I finished with it.But it was a success,I guess.Orange-colored elixir as a result.Then,I continued with the inhalation drug.It gave out a smell that could make your eyes water.However,the liniment drug made up for it by giving out a very sweet smell.Well,it is soap anyway.Moving on to the ear drop preparation,which was quite easy,by the way.I finished very early.I finished first,in fact.Haha.Was a success,the whole thing.So,in short,I was happy with it and went back to my room.

29th Jan 2010:

Pharmacology lab

Yay!!!I've been looking forward to this lab also,coz we're gonna be injecting mice,or mencit,as said by Dr Abbas.I purposely didnt read the lab manual coz I guess the lecturer will most likely demonstrate us on how to do it.Right?Right?.i entered the lab with confidence and excitement,seeing this as an oppoturnity to experiment drugs on mice.I entered the lab,and...........

Quiz?..............Im f**ked...

So basically the quiz asked us on the experiment procedures.Dont even ask me how I answered the questions.Was crap...

A little something here that I have been wondering before the experiment started :

What if,a long time ago,the late Mr Walt decided to name the most iconic Disney character Mickey Rat?Children's dreams will be smashed to find out the most lovable character in their life being a stinky,smelly,sewer rat.If that happens,I guess Disneyland will be less 1 castle by now

Ok,Ok,back to the main topic.

So basically we have to inject 5 mice with the same drug,Pentobarbitone(in which i will address it as baby after this,makes things easier),at different parts of the body.See,the objective is we have to find out the effect baby has on the body(eg:time the baby takes to make the mice become drowsy and fall down) depending on the type of administration route,such as mouth,tail,and skin(Hey,im not gonna write peritonial and whatnot here.lets use the simple2 words,ok?).

Well,it won't be an experiment without any sacrifices,right?

1st mencit :

Me: Desmond,you inject baby while i hold the mencit!

Desmond: Ok,you hold it tight!dont let it move too much

Me: Dude,im ready.inject now

Desmond: ok,here goes....ookay..hey wait,shit,its moving!Its sucking on the thing.Ah,shit!!

Me: Woi!!don push it too hard.hey,its moving!let go of the thing so we can drug you!!Oh................its mouth is bleeding.desmond,stop!!!!

mencit: *Choke**choke*dies....

me and desmond: ...................................................

2nd,3rd,and 4th mice were not much of a problem.the 5th mencit was crap

5th mencit:

me: ok,i've put it in the tube already.andrew,inject

andrew: ok,here goes....oh,i injected the tail,not the vein.oh well,lets try it on the next mencit.this one's a failure.

7 mice later...

me: screw this shit....

andrew: well,at least we managed to administer the drug into the vein for this last one

me: still,screw this.

some girls : aaaahhhh!!!aaaahhhh!!!!catch it!!!oh,its entering my sleeve!!!!aaaahhhh!!!!

X)

30th Jan 2010

dev invited me to accompany him to gurney drive to watch the Thaipusam festival.oh well,since i haven't hang out with him for quite a while,i just said okay.he also invited two of his coursemates.a johor girl whom she told me to address her as Yaya,and a japanese guy named Yosuke Nimura.Both are 23 and 25 years old respectively.

we went to the sg dua bus stop and waited for about 45 minutes for the bus.the journey there already took 2 hours (no) thanks to the jam-packed road.hunger and thirst became the bane of our life during that moment.

we reached there around 9 pm.basically we looked for food,but none caught our eye.then we saw a booth giving out food FOR FREE!(i just uppercased them to make them look edgy and controversial).I took the food and......oh,just vege.no meat.just vege..

vege

vege

vege

vege

im telling you,never,never,in my life had i eaten rice with only vege and no meat.well....what do you expect from a thaipusam festival?we sat on the roadside and dug into our food.

Suprise,suprise!!!it was damn nice!the texture of the rice was so soft..the taste of the gravy and vege,very nice!!i asked for seconds.yup,seriously...

we walked along the road ,into the sea of indian people.

now,before you think of me as one kind,let me remind you:

1)I am in no friggin way involved in the worshipping of the gods or entering the temple.i was just walking along the road where the stalls were set up,although from there you can witness the indian people piercing themselves with the thingy parading along the road

2)I wasnt drunk or anything.

it was literally a sea of people.sweat,bodies,everywhere.and people were dancing everywhere.im betting you anything that they were drunk at that moment.its obvious

im gonna skip right to the end where i witnessed a fight,and i as like,standing in the middle of it.

three guys were ganging up on this one guy.it wasnt a fair fight,since the 3 guys were using pocket knife and sticks.the guy who was beaten up bled and fought back.they were all drunk,i guess.the thing is,i was standing too close to them and being the guy who dont want to get involved in anymore fights,i turned and walked away slowly.i didnt run because i dont want to get panicky.

aiseh...its a religious festival,so dont fight laa okay?

so i got back to usm at 2 am and here i am,writing this post,after a hectic,but fun,week

looking forward to kung fu night next saturday.but,till then.have to catch up on my studies.

adieu.

what happened,bro..

mann..its been nearly a week since i wrote here.

i was on fb a short while ago.my bro,ravi,posted something very unusual.the post indicated something like he lost all hope in life.

what the f....

this is so not like him at all..

i chatted with him on fb.

it took quite some time before he replied.

then he told me something that suprised me.

he was crying.

no way,this is not the ravi i know.the ravi i know would not cry.he is far stronger than i am.far more braver.the type of person who wouldn't cry.he was not even in the state of telling me what happened to him.seems to me that this may be a serious case...

im all ears,if he is ready to tell me what's troubling him.

please,dude,dont do anything stupid

one of my best friend here in usm warned me not to do anything stupid whenever im troubled.and here i am,telling ravi not to do anything stupid.coz i know that he might do so.

the same way my best friend in usm has always be with me whenever im troubled,im gonna do the same to you

dude,we're bros.and we stand up for each other

oh well,got class tonight.

adieu

A success

Well,Pharmnite 2010 is officially over and I can return to studying.one word i can describe about pharmnite?Fun.
i realised something.once we set our mind on something,no matter how hard it is,we will be able to do it.
before this,I've never,EVER rapped on stage in front of an audience.This was the first time i ever did this kinda stuff and i managed to do it.phew......
let me tell you what i went through just for this once-in-a-year performance.
The song that i chose to perform was Loose Yourself originally sang by Eminem.This is actually a very nice song if you understand the meaning of the words behind it.I'll leave it to you to do that
Now,I'll start off with my rehearsal progress on that day itself.there were two rehearsals.I seriously screwed up the first rehearsal because my mind was wandering off.I forgot the lyrics and had to stop my part of the rehearsal.It was so embarassing,so disappointing for me.Even the other committee members asked me for whats wrong.I straight away ran to the nearby toilet and shut myself in the cubicle for around 10 minutes.I shut my eyes tight and got frustated at myself for being so ridiculous.after that,i got out of the cubicle and went to the sink.I faced myself in the mirror and practiced my lines right then and there.seriously,at that moment,i looked like eminem in the actual music video itself.when i was practicing,i realised that there was no way i could pull this off alone.the song was too fast for me and i was losing my breath.my throat felt on fire and my stomach was practically bursting.I placed both of my palms on the mirror and looked down.
I need to come up with a strategy,and fast.
Then come the second round of rehearsal.i went up on stage when my name was announced.time for me to experiment with this new strategy of mine.Guess what,it actually works.
Now to get ready for the real thing.
we were given around 2 hours to prepare for the event.I went up to room 326 which was specially reserved for the male committees to sleep,take a bath and change our attire.the room was jam-packed with guys and it was so noisy.but fun as well.haha.we played poker,slept on the bed,watched tv,wrestled,and did some other childish stuffs
well,its nearly 6 and i was already prepared.i donned my outfit and went to the ballroom.the first people i saw were a couple of chinese girls from my class and damn,they looked so friggin unrecognisable!!of course,i know that they put on some make-up and changed their hairstyle,but then...
and then another one of my classmate walked past me.at first,i didnt recognise her.however,one of my friend alerted me of her presence.i was so damn shocked when i realised who she is.she looked like a model. shit....
anyway,i'll skip to the part where my performance started.
Before i went on stage,many of my friends sent me good luck messages to my phone and i appreciate them so so much
I wore my jacket and pulled the hood so that it'll cover my face.i went up on stage.the stage lights were darkened.i could hear the crowd cheering when i went up.i started to sing.from the corner of my eye,i could see the dean and dr azmi looking at me,not expecting me to perform on stage.but they were smiling,which is a good thing.
i started to rap.
then,came to the part where i began to feel breathless.i started to use that strategy again
"Ladies and gentleman,now i want you all to do a little something for me during the chorus.when i point this mic at you guys,i want you all to say 'GO!!' as loud as possible!ok,here we go!"
that really worked.the audience responded well and it did saved me some energy for the next chorus.
During the second chorus,i thought i would try out something
"guys,now i would like all of you to move your hands up and down and say 'Yeah!!' along with the song!!"
the audiences provided full support and i've never ever felt so confident in my life.
I just let loose myself on stage and performed like never before.
By the end of the performance,i felt tired,but happy and satisfied.the audience cheered and clapped and all of my friends congratulated me
unfortunately,i lost the competition.got the third place.i cant deny that i felt a bit disappointed,but i still felt that this was the night of my life.i felt so satisfied and happy that i convinced myself to try it out again next year.
in a nutshell,i did prove to myself that i can do many,many things that i thought was impossible for me before.its not the matter of winning or losing.its not the matter whether you are good at it.no,its the matter whether you are confident to do it,and have fun while doing it.no matter what,never give up too early.you would never know the results.sure i lost,but i did make an impact onto myself and onto the others.now,i feel more confident than ever.
you can do anything you set your mind to,man
and,with that,i thank you

Just a lil bit more

first things first.students from other schools dont like us?for whatever reason?for...ummm..not knowing bout wats happening in other schools?its not like its our choice to study somewhere in a forest.look,we didnt do anything to you guys,so lets just keep it that way ok?
just got back from the pharmnite rehearsal
progress?
lets just say that i lost my breath.a lot
oh well...not much to say,by the way.
m damn sleepy as im typing this
oh yeah,there's gonna be a pharmacology quiz tomorrow
.................................................................
fuck it...
adieu.
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.........

ok,last nite really sucked.the rehearsal,i mean.what happened to me?that song was like,one of the top songs in my life and i already memorised the lyrics.but what happened?why did i forget?damn it.and why were my hand movements were like those of penguins?that really sucked.
after the rehearsal,i was like "what the fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuccccckkkkkkkkk......" Yeah..
well,thank the heavens today im free the whole day.so i better take this oppoturnity to practice.
i better lose myself in the music
its the moment
i own it
i better never let it go
i only get one shot
do not miss my chance to blow
this oppoturnity comes once in a lifetime
yeah....i kinda forgot how much this chorus part of the song means to me in my life
sigh....
i cant give up now
adieu

Look,if you had one shot,one oppoturnity
to seize everything you ever wanted-one moment
would you capture it,or just let it slip?

His palms are sweaty,knees weak,arms are heavy
There's vomit on his sweater already,mom's spaghetti
He's nervous,but on the surface he looks calm and ready
to drop bombs,but he keeps on forgettin
what he wrote down,the whole croud goes so loud
he opens his mouth,but the words wont come out
he's chokin,how everybody's jokin now
the clock's run out,time's up over,bloah!
snap back to reality,oh there goes gravity
oh there goes Rabbit,he choked
He's so mad,but he won't give up that
is he?no
he wont have it,he knows his whole back's to these ropes
it dont matter,he's dope
he knows that,but he's broke
he's so stacked that he knows
when he goes back to his mobile home,thats when its
back to the lab again yo
this whole rap shit
he better go capture this moment and hope it dont pass him

* [Chorus]
You better lose yourself in the music,the moment
You own it,you better never let it go
You only get one shot,do not miss your chance to blow
This oppoturnity comes once in a lifetime yo

The soul's escaping,through this hole that its gaping
this world is mine for the taking
make me king,as we move toward a,new world order
a normal life is borin,but superstardom's close to post mortar
it only grows harder,only grows hotter
he blows us all over these hoes is all on him
coast to coast shows,he's known as the globetrotter
lonely roads,God only knows
he's grown farther from home,he's no father
he goes home and barely knows his own daughter
but hold your nose cuz here goes the cold water
his hoes dont want him no mo,he's cold product
they moved on to the next schmoe who flows
he nose dove and sold nada
so the soap opera is told and unfolds
i suppose its old potna,but the beat goes on
da da dum da dum da da

*[chorus]

No more games,I'ma change what you call rage
tear this mothafuckin roof off like 2 dogs caged
I was playin in the beginnin,the mood all changed
i been chewed up and spit out and booed off stage
but I kept rhymin and stepwritin the next cypher
best believe somebody's payin the pied piper
all the pain inside amplified by the fact
that i can't get by with my 9 to 5
and i can't provide the right type of life for my family
cuz man,these goddamn food stamps dont buy diapers
and its no movie,there's no Mekhi Phifer,this is my life
and these times are so hard and its getting even harder
tryin to fed and water my seed,plus
see dishonor caught up between bein a father and a prima donna
baby mama drama's screamin on and
too much for me to wanna
stay in one spot,another jam or not
has gotten me to the point,im like a snail
ive got to formulate a plot fore i end up in jail or shot
disaster is my only mothafuckin option,failure's not
mom,i love you,but this trail has got to go
i cannot grow old in salem's lot
so here i go as my shot
feet fail me not cuz maybe the only oppoturnity that i got

*[chorus]

Now that is the lyrics to the rap song im gonna perform later during pharmnite.its entitled "loose yourself' by rapper Eminem.
this is one rap song that i really love because of the story behind it.its the story of how a white man rose to fame as a worldwide known rapper.and the message behind the lyrics is to not ever give up and grab every oppoturnity that comes by,no matter what other people might think.
Now here comes my chance.yeah,i admit,im taking this whole pharmacy idol thing a bit too seriously.the last time i felt like this was when i took part in a public speaking competition during form 5.the feeling of anxiety was there,always.but i wanted to win.and win i did.
i always rap when i feel like it.but i never really made a rap performance,an actual one.and it is damn hard.seriously.it left me breathless.well,gotta stock up on warm water for that.
and i realised i seriously need to fill my stomach before practicing and performing.i mean,really fill it.because before i started practicing yesterday,i did have my dinner.2 hours after that,im hungry again!!
this is hard...i wonder how real rappers manage to do it their whole lifetime
sigh...but i cant give up now
you can do anything you set your mind to
and with that,i bid you goodbye

ok
so its been a while since i posted anything here.so many things to think about,so little time.
1st things 1st.hearing her talk her heart out about the pharmatrade dinner made me feel happy for her.she's so excited about it,and that made me feel happy too.looks like i need sumting to take my mind off things for a while.
and that is why im looking forward to pharmaliday and pharmnite.
especially pharmnite.
last week,i told my mum that im going for the pharmnite event.and u know what,the last couple of days,she bought me a pair of Bonia shoes that cost a whopping 400 bucks!that was shit.........in a good way.
anyway,the shoes felt great.it feels right.not too tight,but not too loose either.the texture was just nice.
sigh...im deeply thankful..
i already have padini shirt,vest and pants,along with Bonia shoes.Am i satisfied?well,yeah...but its been a long,long time since i've donned a tux.im not good when it comes to choosing attire,i admit.but i have a knack for this kind of so-called "executive" attire.i dont know..
Btw,i admit my performance is gonna suck.hehe.thats why you're not coming.teehee ;p
im gonna rap anyway,and thats not your kind of music.but its ok
oh well,i dont really have much to say.
gonna start studying now
and i better remember to pay up 15 bucks to qi hann
adieu

Shaken

You returned into my life when I thought I had finaally gotten rid of you.I don't know what's your problem with me,but the reason you used is totally illogical."For fun"?I suffered just because of your desire for fun?I'm totally shaken up now and I need to calm myself down before I write any further in my blog

Gaara of the Sand

Who's Gaara,you may ask?Enough with the shenanigans then,and I'll get straight to the point
Gaara,a character in Naruto series, is just like me.Someone with a dark,troubled past.Someone who cannot fight his way out of his past and ended up doing the things he do.
Just like me.
But then,he changed.With the help of someone stronger than he is.He managed to believe again.He managed to convince himself to fight all the way through.
Just like me.
The thing is,that's just a cartoon.Real life is much more harsh.True,the past practically puppeted me.
I need to make a change..