i always look drop dead stone cold amazing.while other people look dead,stone,and cold ;)
Monday, May 31, 2010
Its A Big Club,And You Ain't In It
Saturday, May 29, 2010
1 Malaysia(?)
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
24 Most Ridiculous Celebrity 'Gamers'
Celebrities are good at so many things. They entertain us with their beauty, style, charm and frequent intoxication. They create wonderful movies, music and sex tapes. They save the world by adopting, and crazily naming, every orphaned child they meet. They even tell us what to buy, what to eat and what to wear!
Why, then, must they be good at gaming as well? Why must we always shove controllers and remotes and consoles into their unsuspecting, delicately manicured hands? Why must we constantly force them to mingle and pose with giant, bobble-headed cartoon characters? Why must we ask them to play and promote something of which they clearly have no interest or knowledge?
As these surreal examples of celebrity "gaming" prove, we shouldn't. The results are rarely flattering... and NEVER believable.
1. Christina Aguilera
Here's what I mean. Couldn't someone have told poor Xtina that the Nintendo GameCube is, in fact, NOT a fashionable new handbag and, despite coming in three stylish colors, should NOT be used as such? An agent or publicist perhaps? Famous people can't figure this stuff out on their own, you know!
2. Zac Efron
The 360 controller and Bungie wristband tell us Zac is a real gamer. The upturned collar, designer t-shirt and sun-kissed bangs tell us otherwise. My suspicion? The star of High School Musical and Hairspray is one frag away from breaking into song, dance or possibly both.
One of these people is real. One is not. Can YOU spot the difference?
3. Steven Spielberg
Ah, the universal power of the Wii: making old people look even older. Here, the most successful and beloved director of our time has suddenly transformed into the captain of some retirement village's videogame bowling league. Could someone please help Grandpa put on the wrist strap?
4. Tara Reid
The Wii's other power? Inspiring sexual and phallic innuendo. But with the star of Taradise in this picture, I figure any attempts at such juvenile humor would be redundant.
5. Jack Black
Jack Black's power? Apparently, looking kinda like an idiot no matter what console he's being forced to play.
6. Snoop Dogg, Fergie and Wilmer Valderrama
And the power of these hardcore Hollywood playas? Being sooooooooo effing damn cool (tilted baseball caps and misappropriated gang symbols!), you don't even notice the game controller.
7. Jenny McCarthy
Jenny seems appropriately, and convincingly, excited to test the latest fast-paced action or sports game on her Xbox 360. Just one problem - she's playing Marble Blast Ultra. What the hell could possibly have happened inMarble Blast Ultra to elicit a face like that?
There! Now THAT's the vacant, joyless expression we were expecting.
8. Christian Slater
Nothing says "heart throb" like spiked hair, a tight black t-shirt and tighter blue jeans. Nothing says "aging, desperate heart throb in need of publicity" like playing DS in front of a ceiling-high Mario mural.
9. Mario Lopez
Poor Mario Lopez. His career has sunk so low, he has to stand next to Fergie Fudgehog for a paycheck. Then again... poor Fergie Fudgehog. She has to stand next to Mario Lopez for free.
10. Nicole Kidman
What? You don't own matching colored outfits for all your consoles? You don't play DS on matching white furniture in matching white rooms with matching white flowers in the background? Don't worry - you will when the Scientologists take over.
Well, putting the celebrity's face on the gaming system is certainly one way to produce genuine enthusiasm. Expect a Wilmer Valderrama 360 in the near future.
12. Josh Duhamel
Im not saying this guy is a bad actor. What I am saying is that the plastic statue next to him seems to have more emotional range. And if you didn't recognize Josh from the TV show Las Vegas, that's okay. No one did.
13. Tilda Swinton
The White Witch of Narnia continues to perfect her icy, bitchy disdain for everything good and fun and pure in the world.
14. Bill Gates
Breaking the mold as always, Bill is the only celebrity on my list who lookstoo geeky to play videogames.
Star Wars Chess? Maybe. Halo 3? I don't think so.
15. Peter Moore
Some remember him as former Corporate Vice President of Microsoft's Interactive Entertainment Business division. We'll always remember him as a pretend rock GOD.
16. The Reggies (Fils-Aime and Bush)
So many, many questions. Which Reggie signed that Wii? Why did they make it out to the "Triforce"? Is that a Power Glove? How much money was Reggie, the football star, given to model that ridiculous hat? Is Reggie, the President of Nintendo, going to eat me?
17. Rihanna
This photo does double duty, advertising both the Xbox 360 and the new Spring collection at Bloomingdale's. For a limited time, half-off on bamboo earrings and sunflower pillow covers!
(By the way, this is another celebrity playing Marble Blast Ultra. Are real games too complicated or something?)
18. Big Boi
No, the Xbox 360 Elite is not that large. Yes, Big Boi is simply that tiny.
Ironic much?
19. Lil Jon
Lil Jon appears utterly disappointed and disgusted by the pea soup green of the Halo 3 Special Edition Console. Finally, a true gamer!
20. Hulk Hogan
Oh my God! Hulk Hogan is going to tear those Pokemon kids' arms off!
21. Tony Romo
Oh my God! Tony Romo and his jock cronies are going to crush those miniature toy guitars between their giant meaty fingers!
22. Korn
Oh my God! This is... stupid.
23. Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie (but mostly Paris Hilton)
Was there ever any doubt that the ultimate princess of publicity would appear on this list of gaming poseurs? Of course not, but I'm still impressed by the hotel heiress's work ethic. Lending her air of vague condescension to every console in reach was nice, but Paris really went the extra mile when she whored out her name as well. Paris Hilton's Jewel Jam, available on mobile phones, sounds awesome. Now if she'd just stop calling it Diamond Quest..
24. Ronald McDonald
Does a fast food mascot count as a celebrity? Dunno. What I do know is that this photo has haunted my dreams for days now and I had to share the misery. The only thing creepier than Ronald's leering gaze is Mario's dead-eyed synthetic stare. He looks like a drive-thru speaker box... from Hell.
Monday, May 10, 2010
Does It Matter What Roger Ebert Thinks?
So, movie critic Roger Ebert is at it again, stirring the hornet's nest and upsetting the demagogues of gaming with his definitive statement that videogames can "never" be art. In a recent editorial, Ebert defends his long-running belief that interactive entertainment does not deserve to be considered an artistic pursuit and, predictably, gamers lost their minds.
However, the community cannot say that it didn't ask for this recent tirade. As Ebert states, he has been contacted multiple times by game fans who are desperately seeking the old man's approval. All I can ask is why? Why are people clamoring for Roger Ebert, of all people, to validate a medium he clearly has no interest in, and has remained willfully ignorant of for years? Why is the opinion of a single Luddite so crucial to the gaming community?
I cannot claim I've not been guilty. I used to get offended when outdated and irrelevant human beings looked down their noses at a medium I've dedicated my life to covering. I used to take up my pitchfork when philistines like Ebert blasted a form of entertainment that they will never understand. However, the more I considered it, the more I had to ask... does it really matter?
Does it really matter what a 67-year-old man thinks about Metal Gear Solid?
Let us not pretend, of course, that what Ebert is saying isn't ignorant at best and stupid at worst. To say that something can never be art, when art is perhaps the most personal and subjective concept in human history, marks the critic out as a disastrously primitive and nescient individual. Ebert's entire argument is that games cannot be art because you can "win" them. He claims that because games have set rules and goals, they are disqualified as art.
Essentially, that argument is no different from me saying that paintings can never be art because they are hung on walls. Both arguments impose wholly arbitrary rules on the nature of art, a concept that is inherently judged not by capricious standards, but by instinct, perspective and that intangible thing we clumsily call soul. You can't impose strict and unchanging rules upon art, because it is based upon feelings, fashions, societies and emotions, things that are always changing. Art is an evolution, a formless thing that has no shape. To try and put it in a box, stick a label on it, and give it definition or structure is not only futile, but incredibly foolish.
The basic premise of that tangent is that Ebert is wrong. However, we all know he's wrong. We also know he'll never change. In fact, Ebert actively revels in upsetting gamers. He boasts on Twitter about being disagreed with, and goads the community with his perpetual statements. Evoking an image of the perfect troll, he successfully plays the hardcore gamer crowd like a Casio Songbank. Here we are, Pavlov's dogs, we drool and bark as soon as he starts ringing the same bell we've heard a dozen times before.
In fact, Ebert claims he was prompted to start round 100 of his slanging match by gamers themselves, who constantly bombard him with requests to play certain titles in an effort to sway his mind. Like an obsessive religious fundamentalist who is preoccupied with turning "sinners" toward the light, these self-appointed industry ambassadors only manage to expose their own insecurity and angst over the fact that somebody might not have the same opinion as they do.
Roger Ebert has no interest in educating himself about videogames. In his latest article, he makes definitive statements about Braid and Flower, basing his opinion on a few things he's heard in a talk by Kellee Santiago. He won't play the games he criticizes so confidently. He doesn't feel he needs to, nor does he care enough about the subject at hand. Why are we so eager to get this old man to play a game? He consistently exposes himself as a man who is not just ignorant, but proudly ignorant. This is a man who can simply hear about a game like Flower and write it off as "[nothing more interesting] than a greeting card."
Do you really want the approval of somebody who's going to publicly spout such absurd drivel?
You must also remember that people like Ebert are increasingly becoming the minority. Games are only getting more mainstream, and as our generation rises to become the next breed of critics, politicians, newscasters and parents, the acceptance of gaming as a legitimate art form is a complete and total inevitability. Ebert is 67, and those who think like him aren't much younger. They are fossils. Leftovers. They are nearly all dead. In a few years time, nothing that Ebert has said will matter because Ebert won't be with us anymore. You might as well already be arguing with a corpse when you engage any of these old men who sneer at interactive entertainment. It's a thoroughly pointless endeavor.
Gamers are a defensive lot, and again, I cannot claim to be innocent. I bristle and boil when pathetic "experts" go on TV and pretend that videogames are a corrupting influence on our unspoiled children. I engage in heated debates about whether this game or that game deserves more respect. However, I think it's high time we let the "games and art" debate go. It's a waste of time. Nobody will ever admit defeat, so it becomes a war of attrition, and since gamers are younger, it's a war we're destined to win.
Ultimately, it shouldn't matter what anybody else thinks about something you enjoy, provided that you still enjoy it. Whether Ebert says games are art or not will never invalidate the experiences you've had with the medium. Whether you choked up after fighting The Boss in Snake Eater, or laughed childishly at The Great & Mighty Poo in Conker's Bad Fur Day, there is nothing Ebert can say that will take your fun away from you. To me, fun is the highest form of art. Anything that entertains in this miserable world is worth putting in a gallery and cherishing for years to come, if you ask me.
That's the key phrase, though -- if you ask me. If you ask me, I'll tell you that games are art. Games are because I say they are art. That's how art works. It's what you, the individual, can take from it. Not what some obsolete stranger says. By all means, disagree with Ebert's statements. Laugh at his absurd commentary or disregard him entirely. Hell, agree with him if you think the guy has a point. However, let's stop getting so damn angry and bitter because an aged film critic doesn't respect videogames.
If Ebert wants to betray his own ineptitude, let him. If this old man who should know better is intent on acting like a twelve-year-old Internet troll, that is his prerogative. But whatever he says about videogames doesn't matter. If anything, its his opinion on art in general, and his attempts to narrowly define it, that should be taken as the gravest offense.
Let the art world get offended by that, however. Let us, as gamers, do the best thing we can do to prove Roger Ebert wrong... ignore him, and enjoy our damn games!
Sunday, May 9, 2010
A Brother's Love
The pregnancy progressed normally for Karen, an active member of a Methodist Church in Tennessee. Then the labor pains came. Every five minutes . . .every minute. But complications arose during delivery. Hours of labor. Would a C-section be required?
Finally, Michael's little sister is born. But she is in serious condition. With sirens howling in the night, the ambulance rushes the infant to a neonatal intensive care unit. The days inch by. The little girl gets worse. The pediatric specialist tells the parents, "There is very little hope. Be prepared for the worst."
Karen and her husband contact a local cemetery about a burial plot. They had fixed up a special room in their home for the new baby –now they plan a funeral.
Michael kept begging his parents to let him see his sister, "I want to sing to her," he said. Week two in intensive care. It looked as if a funeral would come before the week was over. Michael kept nagging about singing to his sister, but kids are not allowed in Intensive Care. But, Karen makes up her mind. She would take Michael whether they liked it or not. If he didn't see his sister now, he may never see her alive.
She dresses him in an oversized scrub suit and marches him into ICU. He looks like a walking laundry basket, but the head nurse recognizes him as a child and bellows, "Get that kid out of here now! No children are allowed in ICU." The mother rises up strong in Karen, and the usually mild-mannered lady glares steel-eyed into the head nurse's face, her lips a firm line. "He is not leaving until he sings to his sister!"
Karen tows Michael to his sister's bedside. He gazes at the tiny infant losing the battle to live. And he begins to sing. In the pure-hearted voice of a 3-year-old, Michael sings: "You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy when skies are gray . . ."
Instantly the baby girl responds. The pulse rate becomes calm and steady.
Keep on singing, Michael. "You never know, dear, how much I love you, Please don't take my sunshine away"
The ragged, strained breathing becomes as smooth as a kitten's purr. Keep on singing, Michael.
"The other night, dear, as I lay sleeping, I dreamed I held you in my arms..."
Michael's little sister relaxes as rest, healing rest, seems to sweep over her. Keep on singing, Michael.
Tears conquer the face of the bossy head nurse. Karen glows. "You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. Please don't, take my sunshine away."
Funeral plans are scrapped. The next, day—the very next day—the little girl is well enough to go home! One magazine called it "the miracle of a brother's song." The medical staff just called it a miracle. Karen called it a miracle of God's love.