Thursday, December 31, 2009

My return

Wow...its already 2010 and this is my first time writing a blog,like..after 5 years?What happened to me all this while?
Truth be told,I myself do not know what happened to me?For years I've been in a world of hurt,physically and emotionally.But I never had the bravery to get out of it.God..what have i been missing all this while?
In matriculation,I found these guys, Chinese and Indians, whom I am very close with.I've met with all sorts of troubles there. But they were all there for me.See,i'm not your typical "good guy".But then,with all these people around me,I was never alone.Well,at least that was what I realized NOW.Damn it..
When I entered USM which I am now studying pharmacy in, I felt that pang,that sense of loneliness.Weird thing is,I'm surrounded by thousands of people here.Why that lonely feeling emerged is anyone's guess.
Then,I met someone that kinda changed how I see the world,in a way.
She was forever correcting my faults.She was forever telling me advices.Advices that,at first,were kinda hard for me to accept.However,as time goes on,I started to listen,wonder,and think.She told me to be positive.To forget the past.The bloody,dark past.What's over is over.I can grasp what she is talking about,but still I'm trapped in my own shell.A shell that I can't penetrate,no matter how strong I pushed.
Then,yesterday,something happened.All the Chinese and Indian guys that I befriended in Matriculation texted me,called me.All of them asking me what's wrong.One of them told me I was so optimistic before.They kept offering advices and ensured me that all of them will always be there when I need them since I did so much for them.Well,that was what they said anyway.
Then,she texted me.
She told me that the people in my class all cared about me and do not want to see me unhappy.
That made me wonder,how much of life have I wasted all these while?Nearly 7 years.But all of that changed in just one evening.
Finally, I was shown a path.Finally,I can reach my hand up to those who were actually offering theirs to raise me off the ground.Finally, all the pain is are relieving themselves,one by one.
Slowly,but surely.
Sem 2 has started,and I cannot be like how I used to be.
I am back.
Thank you all.Happy new year to anybody who's reading this.Happy new year to you.
Thank you

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